Oh Well

Contrary to all of the religious organizations that I sampled throughout my youth, I don't believe that heaven is up there above the clouds somewhere. I believe that heaven surrounds us. I also believe that when our physical bodies live out their usefulness, our souls remain. 

Moving on…

I adore a good conversation,  however I loathe, chit chat or mingling. On a daily basis I'm faced with individuals (basically two people, we’ll call them Frick and Frack) who will come up to me and just stare at me (I presume they're trying to engage in a conversation). Besides being creepy, I don't work that way. If you want a conversation with me, say something. If I wanted a conversation, I would definitely let you know. On occasion when I ignore these puzzling advances into my personal space I will occasionally ask the person, “WHAT?!?!” “Oh nothing”, is their usual response. Then what’s the FREAKIN’ point? Some might consider this antisocial behavior on my part, but it is not. It's merely me refusing to participate in idle chit-chat. On the other hand, if you want to have a conversation with me, let's do it, I'm all ears! However, proceed with caution and start with a question, not a stare... 

I can't help about the shape I'm in

I can't sing, I ain't pretty and my legs are thin

But don't ask me what I think of you

I might not give the answer that you want me to

Oh well

Now, when I talked to God I knew he'd understand

He said, "Stick by my side and I'll be your guiding hand

But don't ask me what I think of you

I might not give the answer that you want me to"

Oh well

I can't help about the shape I'm in

I can't sing, I ain't pretty and my legs are thin

But don't ask me what I think of you

I might not give the answer that you want me to

Oh well

Oh Well-Fleetwood Mac

Random thoughts at 2:00am

Not Leaving Las Vegas is the most irritatingly pleasurable channel on YouTube. It’s host “Steven J.” is a contradiction in personalities. A man who would not be out of place in the lead role in one of the, “Revenge of the Nerds" movies. However, this individual with the nerdy look (probably has his pants tucked into his socks, a pocket protector and a fanny pack) also has some mighty kahunas (or he's just not very intelligent) as he ventures into the dark recesses of Las Vegas for our viewing pleasure. I’ve seen Steven accidentally filming drug deals, wandering into swingers clubs and sprinting in the opposite direction while being chased by local ne'er-do-wells. 

Steven J.

I believe Steven is the classic closet narcissist with self doubt tendencies that are only exceeded by his overblown self importance. Even with these character traits, I enjoy his channel. It's fun to watch him explain his philosophies about the “YouTube  business. However, when faced with critical comments, he will occasionally reiterate the fact that it is his YouTube channel and that is his business, so he can do and say what he wants (true). Unfortunately at the same time, Steven whines like a little bitch when a casino decides that they don't want him live streaming in their business and asks him to leave…

Cringy things to watch for, besides his whining…

• His Michael Scott-esque pop song references (no he can't carry a tune) at every possible and obvious opportunity he gets and then blurts out the name of the group and song title.
• The way he points to locations with his hand (in front of his camera, that's already focused on the location) when he's referring to a specific building or area (and lord knows he's not the only youtuber that does this!). 

Even with all his cringy faults (God knows I have my own) I'd recommend his YouTube channel. Not Leaving Las Vegas. He seems like a nice and genuine little fella (even if he is a little self absorbed) who makes original and interesting content, in a YouTube world full of insincere and unoriginal content.

The New Party Planning Committee

Last Known Photo of The Chosen One

It's official, the inmates have officially (officially official??) taken over the asylum (literally) and unfortunately it appears that there's no turning back. It's unfortunate, because the Daily Planet, as an institution, had its merits and some of the inmates that have taken over since the departure of The Chosen One (see above) are sufficiently intelligent people (however there are sufficiently unintelligent people as well). Due to the amount of incoherence, lack of logic and the overall notgiveashitness emanating from the Federation Council, there’s more chance of a full Beatles reunion than a logical decision finding its way out of the new committee. Why? Because once Shari Lewis retires and Lamb Chop, Hush Puppy and Charlie Horse no longer have her hand up their ass (making their every decision for them), and in turn, these puppets must make their own decisions...well, it'll be time for this Cartoonist Extraordinaire to move on.

To paraphrase Yukon Cornelius, "Oh, well, now I'm off to get my life-sustaining supplies: cornmeal and gun powder, pens & ink, drawing paper and hammock's. I'm going to go draw some funny pictures..."

                                     Lamb Chop, Hush Puppy and Charlie Horse

For those of you who question the factuality of my blog, the following are classified minutes from Lamb Chop's, Hush Puppy's and Charlie Horse's the most recent Party Planning Committee (Shari wasn't in attendance). Although I can't divulge the name of my inside source (I will just call him Deep Throat for now)…these minutes were obtained via The Freedom of Useless Information Act. 

• 12:37 pm - Meeting called to order (actual start time was 8am, however the entire committee failed to show up until 11:28 am).
• 12:45 pm. Argument breaks out as to who’s in charge here???
• 1:15 pm - After what was to be a 5 minute smoke/cool down break, the meeting is called to order again.
• 1:57 pm. After the tape measures were found useless in the, Who’s got the Biggest Penis contest (or was it, who is biggest dick??), the decision was made to use a micrometer. Unfortunately, due to their tiny sizes, the lengths still could not be judged accurately (even with the micrometer) and thus it was agreed upon that all members of the Committee are equally tiny (by the way, 9mm is nothing to be proud of).
• 2:36 pm After another “5 minute” after a smoke break, the meeting resumed.
• 2:59 pm The meeting adjourned after it was discovered that no member of the Party Planning Committee could read the corporate supplied instructional booklet, Supervising Employees for Dummies. 
• 3:05 pm Orlando, Babs and Howdy Doody clean up the meeting room while proclaiming, “this is not our job!”

Orlando, Babs and Jimmy